LUCKY LADYBUGS

My transition to Mom was not an easy one. I had Christopher and then turned 30... I had done the "college thing" and the "career thing" and was amazed at the prospect of even wanting a family. I thought it was going to be like the diaper commercials... I would be in all my natural glory with no makeup on, flawless skin and undoubtedly smell like a gardenia. After all I will have just given birth and be in la la breastfeeding land! Don't get me wrong... after preterm labor and a lot of bed rest I was absolutely a changed woman after giving birth; I just had no idea what this "change" would mean.

There was a plan for me the whole time. I had to learn to play again; this is still something I struggle with but once I let go of the fact that my house will not be perfect so that I can play a game of hopscotch I am much happier. Now I just face the useless guilt of "my house is messy and I am playing". I'm at peace with the fact that I am not innately "domestic"... without my gloves I would be puking at the wet hair I just picked up. More about my mighty gloves in a later post... I have 3 different kinds and no matter what budget crisis comes they are staying!

So yesterday after gym we sat in the parking lot with the lucky little ladybugs that found themselves at the mercy of little Lee hands. And they were "gentle" until Nate loved his a little too much... I just sat and watched. These are the moments that I really live for; the confirmation that all the gagging is so worth it. How fragile like the ladybug their spirits are and how blessed I am to love them.