BRING ON 2011!

my kids definitely know how to party it up for the

new year!!!!

we had silly glow in the dark masks, hats, poppers, confetti and lots of munchies!!

and of course, the funnest confetti cake!! coop is my official baking assistant and thank goodness mimi was there to help... even though it takes almost no effort to bake a box cake ~ i was sadly out of breath by the time it was over... oh my... and about to give birth? not a good sign!!

look at those chocolate chip eyes!

and my little blueberry's eyes... melt!!!

classic... i wish sometimes i could just lick something and get away with it!... oh, to be little!

Five Good Things

1. no new years resolutions this year!!
2. pics from 2010 with my tissue box and cracking up
3. packing diaper bags... or at least thinking about what's going in it;)
4. felt... the funnest banner to make ever with all the sheets christopher picked out... everything from zebra to puppies to tie die... cute
5. white tulips came 2 dozen this year from my sweet... gorge!!

ciao~alicia

THE GOOD STUFF

this christmas i was off my feet a lot... the challenge was to focus on what we did and not panic about what we didn't do... hard for this high standard girl! i have to say it felt balanced though... more family and less "stuff"~ stuff to do... places to go... things to see... we spent time together playing, drawing, creating, just being still. i did get some great pics of the boys in their christmas jammies... the week before chris took me on a date... I wore jeans and he told me i was overdressed... i was puzzled when we drove up to walmart and thought oh, well we do have some shopping left for the boys... then he goes to the camera section~ I still did not catch on... then he points to the nikon d3000... i have been wanting a big body camera since christopher was born. it's yours he says... i totally cried... yes, at walmart... with my huge belly... the woman behind the counter seemed to understand... she looked in the back for the last one... she found it covered in dust... meant to be mine she says...

christopher told everyone to be reindeer...

santa setting up the train after midnight... all i wanted was to see their faces when they got up...

the look of pure concentration... after months of practice bubble blowing! huge accomplishment around here... Nate picked it up the next day... life seems to smile at Nate in these special ways... 14 mos. behind big brother is not always easy...

the silver sleigh bells came on time after i ordered them late... LOVE these... when they leave home they will each have one for every year...

boys zoned out on star wars... i may never understand... the only thing that would have gotten their attention i'm sure would have been an announcement of something to do with food... i heart christmas sheets... my favorite decoration hanging from the ceiling... my favorite tradition... christmas eve night with chris wrapping and watching white christmas...

snow globe alley... i love to pick them each one out every year and watch them play with them...

advent was a sweet thing to add this year...

the only baking i did this year? christopher's birthday cake at 10:00 at night with my little night owl helper... yes, we pride ourselves on our eclectic jammy combos!

now on to the new year and new memories!... next christmas there will be 4 little ones to make memories with... i better start in february!

Five Good Things

1. bubble gum
2. hot tea
3. little boy imaginations
4. tradition
5. sisters

ciao~alicia

THE TRAIN

Would we ever make a gingerbread house? I don't think so... for these boys it was a train!... anything sitting down this Christmas is a good thing... I think I'm going to pop any minute!!

Little hands make me want to melt!

A good good day!

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Five good things

1. My new camera I'm playing with! yay for Chris... maybe the first time I cried in WalMart... Nikon D3000... worth the wait!
2. I can't be preggo forever
3. Mom to help with Christmas shopping, cleaning, and other stuff that is sooo tough right now
4. Christopher's home from school... it's LOUD around here!
5. Heartburn pills!

ciao~alicia

MAYAN MADNESS!

They were dancing in their traditional garb... The feathers alone were beautifully stunning! It was sooo crowded but we managed to have tons of fun ~ with this big belly we got off to a good start with a parking spot right by the door!

We made beaded necklaces with Mayan symbols, boats on sticks... sculpted clay and took in all the sights & sounds...

My favorite men... big and little...

I heart days with the fam!

Five Good Things

1. our wonderful cultural district here in Ft. Worth
2. amazing little imaginations that inspire me to create
3. green grass to sit with loved ones
4. Chris' days off!!!
5. the latest craving... Central Market veggie potato chips... YUM!!!

ciao~alicia

WORLD SERIES RANGERS?

We made it to the last game of the season~ Let's just say the boys are hard core

Ranger Fans!

We stuffed our faces with hot dogs, cotton candy, popcorn and cheese fries~ we went to the far end of the field so the boys could hit balls... waited in line forever~ totally worth it! Left with full tummies and happy boys with funny memories. My fave? Cooper feeding the ladies in front of us popcorn from out of his mouth~ & they were loving it!!

So it has started~ night games with boys up late ~ high fives and yells ~ yes, Coop is into it big!~ Claps his hands "Let's go Rangers!" Here we go... and yes they have been getting a thrill at ganging up on Yankee Mama Fan!~ Christopher says I should have learned my lesson!~ I almost want them to go to the series just for my boys!~ Now that's LOVE! . Five Good Things

1. black olives with homemade ranch dressing
2. mini cucumbers with homemade ranch dressing
3. pineapple lifesavers
4. black Tazo tea
5. sweet Baby Boy to give me such yumm cravings!

ciao~alicia

ME BACK ON THE LIST!

Sometimes I have a season where I forget to put ME on the list~ ever done that? So, I've been spending time picking back up things I love... photography, writing, blogging, now cooking~ shocking I know!... crocheting, and making this place a home~ a continual challenge for me on a budget, in a small house and with little boys that love to play ball in the house! But kid house no more!~ I'm taking back what should be... a home... the kind with lamps and pretty things around... the kind I was good at before kids. You see, when I had Christopher I was 30~ I was a little shocked as soon as he got into the highchair and insisted on throwing everything in the trash can. I convinced myself that everything and anything was going to get ruined by this little alien I knew nothing about. I was soooo wrong~ what ended up happening was I deprived myself of making a home... So... back to home making 101!~

Home school is full swing over here and so fun~ more about that another day~but here are some things I missed sharing with you!

Summer was full.... of things like...

sculptures... peaceful...

mini vacation... refreshing... reflecting... watching their wonder grow... and just plain time giggling!

I have missed this blog SO much!~ I LOVE taking pics of my boys and I love sharing our lives with you!

This summer was sooo full!~ The biggest news was finding out we are having a

baby boy!

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Needless to say I was a bit intimidated by having 4 kiddos... this one was a little present! But, I cannot imagine our family without one of these little guys and I'm sure we will not know what to do without him~ Can't wait to meet him... yes, he is still nameless!

So... all name ideas are welcome here!!!

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Five Good Things

1. Protonix... the miracle heartburn pill!!
2. apple mango laundry soap~ finally yummy smelling clothes that causes no rashes!
3. The belly band~ so I don't feel like I'm going to have my tummy fall out!
4. Meyers Clean Day soy lavender candles... THE BEST SMELL EVER!
5. My loud house... life would be so boring without it!

ciao~alicia

PARENTING LATELY

I have no pic to share... just some words today...

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Rewind to my birthday lunch at chic fila with some friends... I was the yelling Mom... I was out of patience. Early in the lunch Christopher was hitting another kid in the face... it didn't stop there... he sat out for half of it with me and the adults and then after throwing Coop down while I was loading the car, he got spanked when we got home... I was banking on the anticipation having some profound effect on him. I was steaming all the way home trying to gain some composure so I could calmly carry out my mission... consistency... I never want to spank them when it finally comes to it. I would like to just say, well you can't do that! Why was I so angry at his mistake? That was Christophers' day there... Nate had his own challenges at lunch. He started to cry as this HUGE kid was coming down the slide and rammed into his neck... I saw Nate permanently scarred right before my eyes... whatever!... it seemed big at the time when I heard him call out and give that pain cry... I yelled at the bunch of them... "someone is going to get hurt" or something that was over reactive... I wanted to find the mother of this big boy and ask her why she wasn't doing anything after it was clear that he was being too rough with all the little kids. Then I wondered if I was the mom someone wanted to have a talk with sometimes... probably... my three boys are not angels.

I say three boys with new meaning... Coop has graduated to time out. Today he scratched Christopher so hard he drew blood. Am I ready for all this?... YEP.

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I thought back on the way home of how embarrassed I was of my children... of how embarrassed I was that I practically yelled up the slide~ "stop! if you guys are that rough then someone is going to get hurt"... I was that mom. I thought about it later and wondered if I could redeem myself... should I hold a special play date? Should I invite everyone to lunch again and threaten my kids' lives before we got there and bite my tongue so everyone could see what a good mom I am? oh my... then I realized that I just needed to let it lie.

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What was really important here I thought?... then I got it~ I have great kids and I am a great Mom... we have bad days. I laugh at how simple this is and I've been in that assurance off and on like the tide comes and goes... I think I have to find it again after each kid starts to assert their self; translation~ smacks other kids at a public place.

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I think I was so mortified that it prompted me to become a yeller for the next week. I heard myself the other day and just thought "who is this?". Shame... guilt... self doubt. I have re centered. I think the new membership to a gym and the thought of escaping them 3 or 4 times a week helped;)... but really, I gave it to Him... all of it. To constantly surrender... all through the day. Every day.

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Five Good Things

1. going shopping for new tennis shoes... in about an hour!
2. Cooper leaning in for a kiss with a head but... rough boy!!
3. clean socks
4. watching 3 little brothers color with chalk
5. sorting puzzle pieces... oh my! we'll have that classroom soon!

THE "CITY"

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I think about this "city" the boys built all the time... it has been a wonderful confirmation of the choices we have made for our family...

let me explain...

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First I'll tell you a little about this city they built. Downtown is out of the pic~ the city filled the entire room but downtown was a few big blocks clustered by the door... the rest of it sprawled out and overflowed onto the bottom bunk~ it has an ocean with sea shells, an airport, lots of fossils, houses, a park and now that I remember a couple of oceans with boats, sharks & tons of seashells. There are animals everywhere. At the top of the highest building there is a cross... in the center of it all. Am I trying to brag or tell you how "good" we are? Of course not! I need these kind of things to keep me sane~

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I really mean that... I miss artsy people... I miss intellectual nerdy crowds who talk about ways to do away with cars. I miss sitting around listening to friends pick at their guitars while we discussed to death the grapes that the wine was made of and how they grew them and how someone has been to the vineyard. Sometimes living in this little town with the s l o w pace and being home ALL THE TIME has made me so anxious that I now understand why you hear those stories of the stay at home moms who break out one day and start hanging out at bars... a lot of them are probably really good people who just couldn't take the everyday... the screaming "it's mine!"... the separating fights... the crying... the maid work~ personally I think this much laundry could send anyone down the street screaming!

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It is clear to me that I don't want to work in the fashion industry anymore and work from 12 noon to 2 in the morning out and about at the latest hot spot entertaining some drunk agent... I do however want to be doing some wine tastings or hanging out at an art gallery talking to some fascinating photographer... or do I? They are only little for so long. The fact of the matter is that I am learning to be still... putting aside the flesh to learn what my calling is here. I think there will be a season for more of that out and about kind of thing... later.

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So, as I struggle I will do so joyfully... to choose not to complain... and not that I'm there... my wonderful hubby leaves the room now when I start complaining... need to work on that;)... I am trying to voice things to be grateful for when all I see is void... for I do have much~ just not the "things" I am used to... the things I needed to put away that were distracting me.

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Five Good Things

1. loud giggles filling the room when I'm trying to read
2. hearing the "I'm sorry I hurt you brudder"s
3. new teeth coming in that hurt oh, so bad
4. oragel
5. peace

ciao~alicia

AUTHENTIC

These tulips are more than a sweet gift from the love of my life... the first flowers Chris gave me were tulips and in one of my most precious dreams Jesus walked me into a banquet with the most indescribable white flowers I had ever seen... I still can't draw them or come up with words that are beautiful enough. Ever since then~ that was about 10 years ago~ white flowers seem to calm my soul~ they bring me a hope that is not of this world. Lately I have felt that this blog is kinda fluffy... not that fluffy is bad ~ we all need to laugh and to be inspired by silly things and the every day. But I have felt a spring welling up in me; a spring that needs a well.

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My writings about motherhood may seem hopelessly romantic and like a love story; at least they do to me... sometimes I read them and am like "for real~" for my life has not always been so "bubblegum". The truth is this has been a love story... 10 years ago several doctors told me that it was a miracle that I was alive and that I was not guaranteed tomorrow. The details are not important right now but that was none the less a pivotal time. They proceeded to tell me that I would probably never have children and that I could drop dead of a heart attack at any moment. That was the worlds' report~ I have been healed. Like I said, the details of this are not important now~ some of you know them... most of you don't. So, motherhood, although a struggle sometimes is a love affair for me. I look down into those precious eyes and I cannot believe that I am privileged to care for their bodies, to nurture their souls and to kiss the boo boos.

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More about this journey another day~ may the peace that passes all understanding be with you and I today as we take one more step towards home~ what a glorious time we have here but what glory is coming in the eternal... may I be content in today and work for my place in His kingdom... Amen

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Five Good Things

1. transparency
2. vulnerability
3. second chances
4. life
5. authenticity

ciao~alicia

TODDLER

He's not a baby anymore...

I had to move his crib because he was turning on his light during nap time and waking us all up at 4:00 in the morning crying... He's slept through the night for a long time now but I guess he wakes up during the night and has been playing with this little light.

His words are too many to keep up with ...

He is the little fish of the family; Christopher & Nate were never really interested in putting their faces in the water until they were older. This little guy is diving in head first in the bathtub and blowing bubbles all over the place~ oh, how he loves bath time with his brothers.

He loves everything about being a big boy... he chases his brothers and joins in their games. They welcome him in, give him a job and it is oh, so cute.

His favorite conversation is "what you doin?" this jumbled phrase means where are you going?, what are you doing? and you can answer him and he usually gives you a big long "ohhh". Precious.

He loves oatmeal and apples and chocolate.

Daddy hung the moon and the stars.

He also loves to tickle everyone and will lift up his shirt and make the more sign for a big raspberry on his tummy~ you know when you blow on it loud?... one of his favorite things ever. His laugh is contagious.

I have to say I cannot wait until the diapers are gone! Five years solid of changing diapers and these hands look 40!

We are entering a new season... time for me to pick up some more things just for me... Lord willing I will be starting my Masters Degree in the fall at DBU! I will also be homeschooling Christopher and Nate... yes, I said it. Over the next few months we will be changing this house... our little museum is up in the hallway, pics to come. And the big boys room is going to be our classroom/playroom! All the boys will be bunking in the little room and I can't wait to hear what goes on in there when the lights are turned out!

What a journey... what a season.

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Five Good Things

1. Snow!~ we had record breaking snowfall!
2. My crock pot~ yummy stuff coming out of this kitchen lately!
3. Little guitar players... Lee Boy Band?
4. Messes... they can always be cleaned
5. Magnetic Poetry on the fridge~ I missed writing!

ciao~alicia

GOLD

my accidental pic... cleaning the bathroom turned into a trip down memory lane looking at pics of the boys... this is the look of time flies... this was one of those days that he just woke up bigger...

fresh fruit masterpiece by Nate

warm winter day pictures and pages at the Kimbell

Just a few golden moments...

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Five Good Things

1. art
2. Poetry on the fridge
3. Smores made in the fireplace
4. Dancing with the boys
5. Warm socks on cold tile

ciao~ alicia